Freedom of Mind

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As I imagine my ancestors fighting in the Revolutionary and Civil Wars, I am acutely aware that freedom isn’t free. As an advocate for the uniquely-abled, I could sound ungrateful for my family’s sacrifices. That couldn’t be farther from my truth.

This is an amazing country for persons with disabilities. Though it can be a fight to stay independent.

  • Fight the insurance companies who withhold services I need.
  • Fight hospitals who make incorrect diagnoses or don’t listen to my needs.
  • Fight for my next breath as my disease controls my heart and lungs. 

Maybe I’m not so different from my relatives?

During a recent surgery, my basic freedoms were compromised. My doctor left specific instructions for the post-surgical nurse to re-position and move my arms and legs. I awoke in a horrific situation.

My eyes opened and I overheard the phone call between the nurse and doctor. They debated my admission to the hospital. I couldn’t speak or move anything on my body. The staff wasn’t watching me. They isolated me behind a curtain even though my bed was the only one being used.

What could I do to say, “I’m in pain! I cannot move my body.”

With Multiple Sclerosis, I have learned to let go of control over my surroundings. Fighting the progression of the disease fails to accomplish anything.  Yet, this loss of control completely unnerved me.

I prayed this wasn’t the end. What was I supposed to do?

Let go. Let God.

As my human body fails me piece by piece, my will cannot overcome the will of God. At this moment, I felt God do something to my spirit that impacted my body.

Relinquishment of everything, allowed me to experience freedom of mind. When all options are stripped away, I found the Holy Spirit infusing me with strength beyond myself. God taught me how to access this freedom in the moments I waited to move a finger… then a hand to catch the nurse’s attention.

On earth, there is no true freedom in pursuing my Constitutional rights.

Unless I connect with the Spirit of God, I may not be able to survive in this world of sin and disease.

I face each day with prayer to unite my soul with freedom of mind. Then I can give to others as problems arise.

 

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